Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
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Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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