I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
