I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
