apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
