i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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