youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Randomize