UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
