i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
