What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
