What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
it glows. i had to have it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
