you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
