on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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