you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
