I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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