he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
