It's like God shit irony all over that family
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
