Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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