matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
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