So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize