Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
