hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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