Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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