so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
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I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
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Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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