I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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