Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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