I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
