can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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