just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize