I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
