Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
