i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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