I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
