I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
