I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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