First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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