How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize