Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
