im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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