the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
