What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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