thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
