so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
