It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
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Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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