FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
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I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
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Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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