Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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