I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
