You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
