My brain says no but my pants say off.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I intend to get homeless drunk
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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