I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
