yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
