So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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