Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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