Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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