Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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