The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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