I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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