so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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