That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
