My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
