But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
