puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
There's even glitter on my cock...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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