why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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