my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
