I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
