Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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