But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
